Feral Monsters

We call them "Those Fearsome Ferals" . These are wild , wild monsters who have rejected the Orphanage and the modest comforts provided there in order to strike out on their own in the backyard. As you can see  , they are doing a fair amount of damage. I leave food out for them but they usually just throw it back at the house windows. I love them anyways . How could I not?

 

The Protest

  





When I got up this morning none of the Orphans were in their rooms , but I could hear something out in the hall.

 

They were chanting , "We . Are. Monsters!"

 

" Ummm.......What do you guys think you are doing" I asked them.

 

 " This is Occupy Hall Street" 

 

Welcome to the Orphanage , Howie and Deo!

 

Everyone , please welcome to the Orphanage Howie and Deo! Born on a dark and stormy night , these two brothers have mischievous tendencies , I can tell. Hopefully they will find good homes before causing too  much trouble for me here in the Foster Monsters Orphanage for Wayward Monsters! 

Girl Troubles

There are three girl monster orphans in the Foster Monsters Home for Wayward monsters right now , and they are a serious handful. Let me tell you....

 

 

 

 

I must have asked them a half a dozen times to stop stretching the phone cord all the way into their rooms! It's going to spring right off the wall for one thing! Plus they are talking on the phone all day long!

 

 Why are they taking my nail polish?! Abeena doesn't even HAVE nails , and her lips are already pink.

 

Nobody else in the house can even get into the bathroom anymore , the girls are always in there.

  

And I swear I think they are "borrowing" things from my jewelry box.

  

Don't even get me started about all the hair in the drain.

It's just about enough to make me want to rip my own hair out!

 But at the end of the day , they are my little orphan girls , and I love them so dearly. I hope someday soon they will be adopted into loving homes ( hopefully with multiple phone lines and plenty of shiny things and cosmetics) .

Welcome to the Orphange Luella and Abeena!

I'm not totally sure why , but almost all the Orphanage monsters are boys. It's pretty rare that girl monsters come about , but look at this! Sisters!  I am practically beside myself with excitement . Of course being the stern Orphanage Headmistress that I am , I need to keep my composure about me. I guess we will just see how cute they are when they start fighting over who gets to use the hair dryer and none of the other monsters in the orphanage can get into the bathroom or use the phone ever again. *girls*  , am I right?

Welcome to the Orphangage , Trenton!

 

Welcome to the Orphanage , Trenton! You may have noticed Trenton is a bit tilted . It isn't his fault! The Orphanage is an old an rickety structure , completely unsuitable for people or monsters and on the verge of falling in on itself.  Trenton has had to learn to walk on the slanted and creaky floors of the Orphanage  and if he stays much longer he will probably develop a limp or maybe even a hunchback. His only hope for a better life is through adoption! Be sure and visit www.fostermonsters.com to learn more about Trenton or to adopt. 

My Little Runaway

As the Headmistress here at the Foster Monsters Orphanage and Home for Wayward Monsters ,  it is my responsibility to find good homes for the monsters in the Orphanage in a timely manner. However , in the Orphanage's history  there have been a very , very small number of "permanent orphans" . These are monsters that I have , in some way,  deemed un-adoptable.  Sometimes this is for practical reasons , and sometimes it is very personal.  This story , dear readers , is on the personal side of things.

Sometimes monsters are born , and then they grow up a little and leave. I am always sad to see them go , but this is part of running an Orphanage , and I am comforted by the knowledge that my monsters go into loving homes.  Sometimes monsters are born , and I don't know until much later that they have shaped my own life , that they are special beyond words. This was the way it was when Eeli was born , about two years ago.  Now readers , I am not sure I can go into why Eeli is so special. Suffice to say , it is a matter of great heart .

Though Eeli is his given name ,  I always called him Dum Dum.  You see the truth is , when he was born , I thought he was ugly and horrible and , well , dumb.  In fact , this sign that you see him wearing started off as a punishment for being a bad monster.  But love works is mysterious ways , and this monster that I once chastised for being terrible worked his way into my icy Headmistress heart. Soon enough he was dining  with myself and Ms. Jackson in the kitchen instead of eating rotten meat in the cafeteria with the other orphans. He even moved out of his tiny room in the Orphanage and slept on my bed.  And that is only part of how deeply I loved him.

But sometimes we take the people and monsters we love for granted , and I did.  I started to neglect poor Dum Dum  , and it wasn't his fault.  His ear fell off and I never repaired it. His eyelids were getting droopy. It hurt me to see him , and I moved him from my soft bed back into his  drafty and windowless room in the Orphanage.

I even lost one of his paws somewhere.  I am ashamed to admit that I let it get so bad , I truly am.  I didn't want to ever lose Dum Dum , but I couldn't take proper care of him either.  I wanted to tell him I loved him everyday , but I couldn't. It is so complicated , friends. The heart is an orphanage with many rooms , many treasures of love ,  and many secrets. Surely you can understand.

 Anyways , it came as no surprise when I woke one morning  and Dum Dum was gone. Just gone. An empty room with no trace. Just his one ear that I had never sewn back on. A heartbreaking reminder of what I had and had not done.

I was awash in a flood of tears.  I feared I would never see my precious Dum Dum again.  I hadn't wanted him to runaway , but couldn't love him enough and I knew it.  I had let him down.  He ran away and left me with both despair and relief.

 A few days later , this letter came in the mail. I opened the envelope with trembling hands. What would it say? That I was a bad Headmistress , a bad person? That he hated me and would never forgive me for the way I had treated him? I was so afraid.  But no , my sweet Dum Dum still loved me , he just had to go. And I knew from the words in the letter exactly where he had run away to , and it put my heart at ease.

Little Heart

 

"Hey little heartster , what is the matter?" Asked the Headmistress.

"That might be true little one , but it is special to be you. Just think of the things you can do just the way you are"

 

" You are just exactly the right size to snuggle with the cat."

 

"  If you were any other way  , you couldn't sit on her back."

 

" You are just exactly the right size to take a nap in a cereal bowl in the cupboard"

 

" You are just exactly the perfect size to sit on my shoulder while I read a very good book. In fact , you are just  exactly the right size for me to carry you everywhere"

 

"You are just exactly special the way you are."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imagination

                                 



 Sometimes I feel too sensitive for the real world......

 

 The horrible ugly dishes pile up in the sink.

 

 Opening the mail is frightening and awful.

 

 Luckily , I have a place I can escape into. In my imagination , everything is as beautiful and perfect as I want it to be.

 

I grow wings and I fly high above the dishes and into outer space.

 

 My pet robot eats all the demanding mail and serves my pancakes  , triple stacked.

 

 All the nearest and dearest desires of my heart have a home in my imagination.

 

And what do the monsters dream about? Cherry pie?

 

 Maybe they dream that they are no longer orphans and that they have homes.

 

 I can only imagine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birth!

                                                        


                                                How Monsters are born.
                                                          
Some of you might not know this , but in addition to being the Headmistress here at the Orphanage for Wayward Monsters , I also teach a lot of children how to sew.  Sometimes they ask me funny questions about monster making like , " How do you do that?" .  The answer is that my heart tells my hands what to do , but that is  not a very detailed answer.  The following story is how a monster was born this evening , the long version.

This is the desk in my sewing room. If you look close I bet you will see some familiar things ( but don't look too close ok?)  

This particular birth began over coffee this morning before work. I drew this little critter in my notebook.  I don't always draw first , and even when I do , that doesn't mean the monster will turn out like the drawing. You'll see.

Next I pile all the fabrics I want to use on the desk. These come from another pile that I was too embarrassed to photograph because it is so messy.

 

Then I sit at my desk and I stare at the pile. I think about the shapes I will need to cut out. It's probably best if you imagine numbers and algebra type symbols spinning around my head. In reality , I was singing a few lines from a Belle and Sebastian song that was stuck in my brain all day. 

I cut the shapes. This is everything except the belly of the worm critter , because I have no idea what to do about that part at this point.  

  Across the room is my sewing machine. I only have one chair , so I drag it over here.

                 

    I always make the teeth first.

The I start sewing the stripey body.

This is part of the face.

                                                            

Ah , there we go ,  almost a real face.

                                                 

And then the bottom jaw.

                                                            

The eyes are next. I call them "eye sandwiches" because it's 3 layers of eye material.

             

This is a good stage because now the monster sort of has a personality and I start to feel not alone.

I start to think maybe it needs feet so I make a few.

                                        

I decided to use yellow fur for the belly and sewed it together , but Eeek! I forgot the feet I made!

 

 

     

So I just turn the feet into antlers , problem solved!

                                        

Now I stuff the monster , through a hole I left in its head. Yikes!

                            

I sew the hole in the head shut by hand , which means I move the whole operation onto my bed so I can be closer to my computer ( that means I am watching TV) .  There are tarot cards scattered on the bed because I am also an Oracle.

I sew pom poms on its back because life is too short.

                         

The monster is born! I hug it and give it a big kiss because my heart made it and I love it. I place it the Orphanage next to Raccaroo for the night so he won't be lonely. I will have to wait until Angela comes home before I name him. Angela is my best friend and she is really good at naming monsters , I think it is a gift.

 

 

 

 

 

 And that is it. This monster took a little less than an hour and a half , including the time to take the pictures.  Hope you enjoyed it! I know I did!




                                                                                The End